Question and...Answer?

One of my favorite things about being a playwright is receiving emails from students, teachers, and parents who have played a role in bringing my words to life. My goal is to bring people together through the arts, so whenever I'm included in that process, I'm overjoyed. Over the years, many actors, directors, stage managers, crew members, and even audience members have been in touch with me to ask questions and make comments about my work. I'm always more than happy to answer questions and I have also made a point to respond to any comments, whether they be positive or negative. While most of the emails I receive are easy enough to reply to, there are times when I've been faced with a question or comment that I had absolutely no idea how to answer. Here are a few of the funniest, most absurd, and perplexing examples.

- My son is in your play and he doesn't have enough lines. Here are some funny ones that we would like you to add. He will also be wearing brown pants and not jeans.

- Why do you write with so many spaces?

- Did you mean for Freddie not to be as funny as the other people?

- On page 12 should I be sitting down?

- Could you please tell my teacher that I deserve a lead role? I've been in the drama club longer than Keisha but she gets the bigger parts and I don't think that's fair. Thanks bunches.

- I don't understand the title. Explain.

- I don't play football so I want to turn the quarterback into a tennis player because that would be more real because I play tennis and not football.

- What is the last line of scene 1? The photocopy was crooked and it got cut off.

- I would like a dvd of Attention Detention sent to me asap.

- How much do you charge to write a play for us? 20 page max and no swearing.

- Thank you for coming to see our play!!! It was an honor to meet you!!!! (Very sweet, except that I was not at this particular production, which happened more than 1000 miles away. Yikes.)